don't ask, don't tell?

Defense Secretary Robert Gates: “One of the things that is most important to me is personal integrity, and a policy or a law that in effect requires people to lie gives me a problem.”

When "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" was passed, I very vaguely remember thinking that someday the majority of people would think that it was ridiculous, unnecessary and insulting.

It looks like this might finally be that someday.

zzzzzz

Over the past 10 years, I thought I'd permanently lost my ability to sleep in. Even when I didn't have a reason (or 3) to get up, I couldn't seem to sleep past 7. And that was totally bumming me out because there is nothing better than waking up on a Saturday, realizing that you have no reason to get up, and going back to sleep without a care in the world.

Over the past week, the combination of 9 (!) days off from school in a row, older kids to help tend to the younger one and staying up too late helped cure me of my inability to sleep in. If you can believe it, I slept until 10 on Sunday! The neglectful slacker mother than I am.

Let me tell you, it was ni-ice. I'd do that every day if I could get away with it.

Unfortunately, today arrived like a ton of bricks and we had to set the alarm because none of us thought we'd get up in time for school.

Thankfully there's just 3 weeks 'til Christmas Break. Maybe by then I can teach the kids to totally fend for themselves and sleep all day long.

maturing tastes

I made chili tonight for dinner, for the first time ever. If you'd told me 5 years ago that we'd be eating homemade chili for dinner, I would've laughed in your face. I don't like chili. My dad made it all the time when I was a kid (it felt like every other night at the time) and I never liked it.

Two words for you: kidney beans.

Blech.

But I've been on a hunt lately for meals that can be prepped early in the day and eaten at various points during the evening. We are so rarely all 5 home at the same time that dinner has become a real challenge. The slow cooker has become my new best friend. And that's where the chili comes in.

Despite the fact that it has kidney beans (two different kinds), I didn't let that stop me. To my surprise, it tasted exactly like my dad's chili did twenty-some-odd years ago.

Even more of a surprise, I kind of liked it.

(Of course, the sour cream, cheese, tortilla chips and cornbread probably helped too.)

Baby steps, people. I can't just dive right into chili.

feeling all patriotic and stuff

...to grandmother's house we go

My four children: the girls all ready for the holidays, the rocker, and the Bear.

I know what who Avery's thankful for this year.

Cayden, prepping for a career as an architect.

Josie was in heaven, somehow conning her Uncle AJ into playing babies with her for over an hour. What a guy!

That face!

thanksgiving pros/cons

Pros
Crab Dip
Marinated Mushrooms
Turkey & Stuffing
Mashed Potatoes
Roasted Brussels Sprouts
Berry Cobbler
Pumpkin Pie
Freshly Whipped Cream
Toy Story 3
Great Company

Cons
Tired, Grumpy Children

headline of the day

"Pope's shift on condom use causes widespread confusion."

Huh.

like mother, like daughter

In the middle of yesterday's craft fair, not long after the doctor's appointment, we also had the big kids' parent-teacher conferences. I never feel like conferences are all that important, but I forget that Andrew doesn't get much of a chance to check in with their teachers and see how things are going.

Much to my chagrin, Avery's teacher (let's call her Ms. H) requested that Avery join us for a "student led" conference. Ridiculous, if you ask me. I want to be able to talk about her like she's not there and in order to do that, I need her to not be there. But, I lost that battle so student led it was.

Ms. H started out by showing us the goals that Avery wrote out for herself at the beginning of the year. She said that the goal that impressed her the most was "I will try not to cry when things are hard." Although that might seem like a piece of cake to most people, I know that's a huge deal for Avery... she has an incredibly hard time keeping her emotions contained. And her involuntary go-to reaction to most emotions (sadness, surprise, fear, frustration, empathy) is crying.

Immediately upon hearing Ms. H talk about this goal, I could see Avery start to tear up, then look away, embarrassed. Seeing her tear up and knowing that she was feeling ashamed, of course I started to tear up, for absolutely no rational reason. It wasn't some super-emotional moment or anything. But of course right at that moment, Ms. H made eye contact with me and I could see the light bulb go off in head, like "aha, now I get it."

She grinned ever so slightly and I felt like a fool.

*****
On an only slightly-related note, Cayden's conference was excellent as well. His teacher's only note of slight concern is that he's becoming increasingly "chatty" in class, talking with friends when he's supposed to be doing something else. I tried to look even the tiniest bit concerned about this, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't pleased to hear that the boy actually SPEAKS. And seriously, if this is his biggest issue in class... I'll take it.

oh, cr*up!

When Josie was about 80% better on Sunday, I thought for sure fate was proving me wrong after the whiny, complaining blog post from Friday. But when she woke up at 2am making the most horrendous noises as she tried to breathe, it was obvious that she wasn't better at all. She was hysterically crying, but it sounded more like a dog barking than anything. The more she was "barking," the more trouble she was having getting air, which led to more crying. Vicious cycle.

Andrew did some quick internet research (seriously, what did people do in the early 90s when their kids woke up sick?) and easily determined that she had croup. In our 10.5 years as parents this is our very first experience with croup, and now I know how thankful I am for that. That barking noise is not something I will easily forget.

I made Josie an appointment for today at noon (the exact moment that the craft fair started... of course) and it was quite possibly the most useless way for me to spend an hour of my day, today of all days. No prescription, no advice that we hadn't already read on Google. But it was a little peace of mind, for sure.

I'm crossing all my fingers and toes that Josie sleeps well tonight. To quote her new favorite saying, "please, please, please, pretty please...."

old

...so, so old. I'm watching the American Music Awards while I finish up some last-minute craft fair things, and I don't know any of these young whipper-snappers with their green hair and their crazy outfits. I think their music is terrible, and I can't understand what they're saying half the time.

I used to know every artist on the AMAs (minus the country artists, of course, because that was never my thing) and I could sing along with all their songs.

I still think of myself as being young and hip, but I'm afraid there's no denying the truth. Old.

jammies

Avery stayed in her jammies all day today. I think she would do that every Saturday if we let her. That girl requires lots of sleep and lots of weekend downtime to make up for her crazy school week.

In the evening Andrew & Cayden were both out so Avery & I put Josie to bed early and made brownies. I really didn't have to help much at all since Avery has turned into a baker all of a sudden. She did ask me to put the pan in the oven though, because she was afraid she might burn herself.

She still needs me a little bit.

When she was going to bed, I asked her nicely if she would put on different jammies so I could wash the ones she'd been in for 24 hours straight. She rolled her eyes at that, and then we both cracked up.

She is growing up so fast. I wish there were other words for that, ones that didn't sound so cliche. But it is what it is.

I figured out tonight that in less than a year, she'll be half the age I was when she was born.

But for now, she's still my girl who likes to stay in her jammies all day on Saturdays.

no, thank you

Between now and Monday, I am going to be up to my eyeballs in craft fair prep. Selling raffle tickets, organizing volunteers, and helping my own kids beef up their inventory. It's not necessarily going to be smooth sailing though, as fate is attempting to throw some road blocks in my path.

I'm really not excited about having a sick girl this weekend. She's been fighting a bug all week, but appears to have lost that battle for now. Runny nose, slight fever, the whole kit & kaboodle. (Did I mention she's grumpy?)

I'm also not thrilled with FOUR birthday parties over the next three days. Between the time needed to shop for said parties and the time needed to actually go to them, that's a serious commitment.

Most of all, I'm discouraged to hear that there's even a possibility of snow on Sunday. When I hear that we might get a "dusting" of snow, that means that A) it will either be sunny and 70 degrees or 2) we'll be buried waist-deep in snow for the whole week. Egads.

It always works out though, right?

turkey day side dishes?

We're celebrating Thanksgiving twice next week with different sides of the family. Which means lots of delicious food... which of course is just fine by me.

But it also means that I need to come up some more side dishes to bring, which is where all of you come in. I don't have any set "stand-bys" that I bring every year, so right now everything is fair game*.

So, on that note, what are your favorite turkey accompaniments?



*Except for salad, because I think salad on Thanksgiving is a waste of plate space. As much as I normally love a good salad.

continuing the holiday-themed posts

Josie has overheard the older kids talking many times about putting stuff on their Christmas lists and I think the idea has finally sunk in a little bit. She's been adding all sorts of things to this invisible list for a few days now... toys, clothes, stuffed animals... you name it, she wants it.

Today she even asked if she could put something on her Thanksgiving list instead of her Christmas list, since Thanksgiving is coming up next week. So she's got the general concept down for sure.


However, later she asked if she could be a dinosaur for Christmas, so we've clearly got some work to do.

christmas shopping frustrations

Making the most of the precious twice-weekly 3 hours of kid free time that I have, I set out this morning to get some Christmas shopping done. I am notorious for knowing what I plan to get people well ahead of time, and then waking up on December 5th to crowded stores and empty shelves. I realize this can't be classified as "early" shopping, but it's a good step for me.

But, things didn't go well today. Nobody had what I wanted so I left with nothing. Nada.

Would it really be so hard for the Disney Store to sell princess figurines separately? Seriously, I don't want or need to buy the whole set of 8 princesses. I only need to replace Pocahontas, who was left at the park in April (but never forgotten) and Jasmine, whose feet broke over the summer (poor thing). Alternatively, I don't want the whole Pocahontas or Alladin sets, with all their second-tier characters. My three-year-old has zero interest in the flying carpet or the Genie.

Just Pocahontas & Jasmine, thank you very little.

dental death grip

Josie (along with her siblings, and a friend of Avery's for good measure) went to the dentist this afternoon. Not at all willingly and not at all happily. She's only been once before and that didn't go particularly well, so I wasn't exactly looking forward to today's visit either.

As soon as I was instructed to brush her teeth to prep for her check-up, she flipped out. So much so that the receptionist gingerly walked around us to close the office door. Wouldn't want to scare away any potential patients. Josie finally calmed down when we were done with the tooth brushing, but I realized almost immediately that she thought we were done with the whole visit and ready to go home. Ugh. The second I told her that she still had to see the dentist, she was inconsolable.

When it was her turn to sit in the banana chair, she turned into a screaming ridiculous monster. She clung to my neck so tight I honestly thought she might choke me. Her body was so rigid that when I leaned her into the chair and she pushed back with her legs, she very nearly sent the two of us flying across the room. Luckily Dr. R was there to catch us, realizing that maybe the chair wasn't the best idea. So she just sprawled across my lap while the doc counted her teeth and checked them for cavities (none!). Three minutes later, she was happy as can be, picking out her prizes from the prize drawer. Phew.

I have never in my life seen that child more upset. She's never thrown a tantrum anywhere near that dramatic or been that scared of anything/one in her 3.5 short years. It was astounding and heart-breaking all at the same time. I guess we'll spend the next 6 months stocking up on dentist books to help ease her anxieties.

* * * * *
In other news, the dentist could apparently tell right away that Josie's a thumb-sucker and unquestionably classified her as my best candidate for braces. Avery, on the other hand, is totally out of the woods, and Cayden is verging on "ortho-optional," which seems like an oxymoron if I've ever heard one.

buddies

Cayden's kindergarten reading buddy just happens to be a close friend of the family and one of the eight (!) kids at the beach house weekend bonanza. Since they both missed school on Friday (their normal reading day), they made do over the weekend and had a little reading session together.

It still boggles my mind a bit to think of Cayden as one of the "big kids."

family of musicians

Saturday afternoon, I made a point to get Cayden & Josie out of the house to keep them from going stir-crazy and to keep the other adults from wanting to beat them senseless. I didn't have much of a plan, so we just went on an extended drive to lunch and the grocery store. At first, both children were less than pleased about this adventure, but just as I suspected, it wasn't long before they were in good spirits and chatting away with each other. I had to struggle not to laugh as I was overhearing the following:

Josie: "Bear had a dad when he was born and his name was Andrew. But Andrew died so Bear had to get a new dad. His new dad is Usher. Usher sings Seven Nation Army."

Cayden: "No, Usher does not sing Seven Nation Army. The White Stripes do."

J: "He doesn't sing the real song but he does sing it when it comes on the radio. And he teaches Bear how to play it on the guitar at McDonald's."

C: "Usher takes Bear to McDonald's for guitar lessons?"

J: "Yep. And then they get chicken and goldfish for lunch."

C: "Lucky."

perfect beach weather

We completely lucked out with the weather on Friday. It was sunny and clear, albeit a teensy bit chilly (it was still November, after all)... perfect weather for climbing the big ol' dune in Pacific City.

So I happily sent the big kids off with our friends to do just that, while Josie and I stayed close to the car (and bathroom) and took some pictures. The last two times I've taken her to the dune, we got about halfway up when she announced that she had to go potty. I wasn't about to let her do that a third time.

Unlike summertime when the sun and the air temperature both lower slowly, it was sunny & warm(ish) one minute and dark & c-c-cold the next on Friday. We all happily headed home for a spaghetti dinner and an early bedtime. What could be better?!

beach birthday

A ukulele.

From the wife and kids.

A bottle of rum.

From a 3-year-old.

birth-versary getaway

The kids had no school Thursday for Veterans' Day, so when we got an invitation to join our friends and one other family at the beach for four days, we jumped on it. The hosting family was celebrating a birthday and an anniversary, so we have absolutely no idea why they'd offer to bring any of us along, but we're glad they did.

You might think that fourteen people and one dog in a three-bedroom house would be too many, but it actually worked out pretty well. All things considered, the kids got along remarkably well. Nothing was broken, nobody got lost or ran away, only a few people cried, and adults were able to get in at least eight hours (that can't be right, but I think it is) of card-playing time.

Good, good times.

quitting

After 3.5 years of classes, Cayden has decided to quit tae-kwon-do. And I'm not taking it well.

Sounds silly, I know, and I never would have pegged myself as the kind of parent who would feel disappointed when one my kids made the choice to end some activity. After all, anything that frees up my schedule right now should be a good thing.

Part of the reason I'm having a hard time accepting his decision is the fact that it totally came out of left field. He left class one Friday saying he had a great time, and three days later never wanted to go back. When I pressed for more information, he finally admitted that he was disappointed that it was taking him so long to move up in rank.

He used to breeze through the in-between belt tests, and never had much trouble earning his new belts when the time came around to test. But now that he's a purple belt, it's getting harder to learn & remember the new moves and he's also not getting as much in-class attention from the instructor (alternatively, he's being expected to help the lower-ranked kids more, which is fine as long as there's a good balance).

So it's no surprise that he's feeling frustrated. I suggested that maybe he take a few weeks off from classes, with the hope that he'd feel renewed and excited about continuing. Instead, he just dreaded going to class even more, and I think it's pretty much a done deal now.

I know with every fiber in my being that he's going to regret it someday. And I'm sure that he'll blame me for not making him go. He's three belts (anywhere from 1-2 years) away from bring a black belt, which would be such a huge accomplishment.

But it's his choice to make, right?

Am I totally over-thinking this?

christmas lists

So far, Avery's Christmas list includes a bunny and nothing more. Poor child is going to be so disappointed! Cayden doesn't know what he wants and Josie wants "Re-punzel," Pocahontas and Princess Tiana dolls. Here are some of the things I'm thinking about:

to-do list

Today's tasks:

1. clean/reorganize basement
   
2. get groceries
   
3. make dinner
   

If it wasn't for that first item on the agenda, today would've been swell.

got insulation!

Final air leakage test results are in. Our score is now 3003, down a whopping 1147 points from the original test.

And only 1000 points above the optimal score.

But still a huge improvement.

season-ender

This morning was the last game of the season for Cayden's soccer team, the Wolfpack. It was probably their most exciting game of the season, against an extremely well-matched team. The score ping-ponged back and forth, and finally ended up at 2-3. Our guys were one off-sides call away from tying it up in the last few minutes, but no one could argue that the effort wasn't there.

All season long, Cayden's been wanting me to get a series of photos of one of his goals. Since today was my last shot for the year, I figured I better pull through. I think he's happy with the results:

good crafternoon

Avery & Cayden's school is hosting a fundraising craft fair later this month. If you're my Facebook friend, you probably already know about this and might have even received an invitation in your inbox (you should come!). In addition to offering tables to adult vendors, we're "selling" a handful of tables to students, which I think is an absolutely brilliant idea.

I can say that objectively because it wasn't my idea, as much as I wish it was.

The second my kids heard about these vendor tables they were both in, no questions asked. No questions like "how much does it cost to take part?" or even more importantly.... "what the heck am I going to sell?"

The items must be handmade, so we've been brainstorming for a couple weeks now. Avery has come up with about 500 things to sell and Cayden wants to sell drawings. Only drawings, all drawings, nothing but drawings. It was hard work to get each of them to change their minds without knowing they were being manipulated.

Today (conveniently a day off from school--welcome to November, thankyouverymuch) was Crafternoon #1. Avery's friend Sage was here and the 3 kids went wild in our little craft nook off the kitchen. Out came the popsicle sticks, googly eyes, glue, scissors, foam letters, beads, plastic Easter eggs, pipe cleaners, markers. You name it... if we had it in this house (or if Sage brought it from home), it was fair game.

A decent amount of progress was made today, but I have a feeling we're in for a lot more crafting in these parts.

And some lessons about important topics like inventory, pricing and marketing. Stay tuned!

got insulation?

That might seem like a rhetorical question, but if your house is 106 years old, it's not necessarily so. We've always known our house was "drafty" (the drapes literally used to sway when the wind blew) so we finally decided to look into some of those snazzy tax credits for home weatherization projects.

When Marc & Zane came way back in August to do some sort of blower test (as shown above) to determine the amount of air leakage, we were all shocked to learn that our house was more than 100% over the recommended level. Apparently the "ideal" amount of air leakage for a house is somewhere around 2000; ours was 4150. And they determined that our house had no insulation in the walls.

None.

And really inefficient insulation that was haphazardly installed in the basement & attic. So, insulation it was. A crew of anywhere from 4-9 guys has been here every day for 2 weeks now, cutting holes in our walls to put insulation in the attic, drilling holes in the siding (shown here) to blow insulation into the walls, and crawling around the basement to get the foundation sealed up.

Yesterday the project was all wrapped up so Marc & Zane came back to do another blower test. In order for this project to qualify for any of the tax credits, there has to be at least a 300-point reduction in the amount of air leakage. Marc said he was hoping to see a 1,000-point reduction, and the final number was:

3920

Just 230 measly little points. Arg.

Somehow they claimed they could tell that the basement is still the problem, so even more work is being done today. Which means more guys traipsing in and out of the house, tracking dirt in and letting the cats out.

I'm trying to keep the end goal in mind: a warm house and a lower heat bill each month!

"what exactly are we doing here?"

That was the most priceless quote from last night's Photoshop Elements class, after we'd already spent a good 5-10 minutes working on highlighting a certain part of a photo for selective editing.

There are a few people in the class who may or may not have ever used a computer before, so they often have many questions, and not all of them 100% relevant.

I feel for the teacher. He does his best to remain patient and answers their questions without any judgment or frustration (at least not on the surface... I'm sure he's swearing at them on the inside).

I also feel for the other students in the class who paid a pretty penny to be there. Thankfully the teacher really likes some of us (ie: Christie and me) and he comes over to show us keyboard shortcuts that he doesn't think anyone else in the class is smart enough to know about yet.

Okay, so maybe I made that last part up, but it's possible.


(Note to Newspace: Beginning Photoshop Elements and Advanced Photoshop Elements. Just sayin'.)

he's back!

After 36 hours (2 nights) out in the wild, Comet came back at 7 this morning! I was shocked when I peeked out the door and actually found him on the porch... after all, we'd been looking out there approximately every 32 seconds for 2 days now with no luck.

Avery summed it up well: "Yay, I'm not depressed now!"

homework, v2.0

Still no sign of Comet (thanks to everyone for the nice messages), so we're all a little stressed. To take my mind off the missing cat, I spent hours this afternoon and evening working on my latest homework assignment for my Photoshop Elements class: fixing the flaws in an old photo.

I finally learned the value of working in layers with this task because I made so many individual changes that I eventually decided to trash when all was said and done. If I hadn't been working in layers (keeping different kinds of changes separate from one another), I would have lost a lot of work when I changed my mind about various alterations.

Now that I'm looking at the two versions, there's not nearly as much difference as it seemed like there was a few minutes ago (I swear it's more noticeable in person), but here you go...

(To the best of my recollection, this is the wedding picture of my maternal grandparents: Scotland, ~1944, if I had to guess.)

comet's missing

Comet wandered off with some random trick-or-treaters last night and we haven't seen him since. Please keep your fingers crossed because if he's not home by the time Avery gets back from school, she is going to freak the hell out.